It rarely snows heavily in Tokyo. But when it did, someone was there to capture it.
The One Resolution That Changed My Life
Yeah, we’re not done yet with the New Year-themed newsletter… We’re still in January after all, right?
I don’t remember making my traditional end-of-the-year list of resolutions for quite a while. In 2018, I was happy and didn’t feel the need to project myself. In 2019, I was wasted and forgot about it. And in 2020, it didn’t matter that much ’cause, you know, Covid.
However, I do remember making one pledge on January 1st, 2021 that had a tremendous impact on my life:
I won’t be a people-pleaser anymore.
Pleasing everyone was so deeply entrenched in my personality that I didn’t really believe it was possible to undo it. I just decided that this short sentence, “I won’t be a people-pleaser anymore,” would stay in a corner of my head for a whole year. And it did. And my whole life changed.
I wanted to quit my job and start working as a freelancer, but I was afraid it would hurt other people’s feelings. My coworkers, my boss, my parents. All had been so good with me that I just wanted to make them happy. But then I remembered… What if I wasn’t a people-pleaser anymore? What if I did what made me happy?
And then I quit.
Since childhood, I’ve been dreaming to make movies. I wrote my first film when I was 9, then direct and shot another one at age 13. They were shitty, obviously, and my parents quickly reminded me that filmmaking wasn’t a career. To them, pursuing this path meant that I would probably never leave their place and never make a dime. So I pursued a business degree and honestly, it was fine.
But now that I was unemployed, I thought: “What would I do if I wasn’t trying to please my parents?”
Probably writing movies.
So I started writing movies. I also came back to my parents’ home and haven’t made substantial money in quite a while, but I’ve never been happier, so it doesn’t matter — for now.
This little pledge has also led to small changes throughout the year, like saying “no” more often and putting myself first from time to time. Honestly, it was liberating.
Consider yourself, your personality, and your patterns. What tiny little sentence can you write on a piece of paper and hide in a corner of your head?
PS: You can support Coffeehouse by buying me a coffee. It keeps me focused. ☕